


want me to love you in moderation

by smallredboy



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Getting Together, Post-Episode: s03e13 The Wrath of the Lamb, Repression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23867020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: Bedelia Du Maurier prefers moderation, but Chiyoh cannot do that for her.
Relationships: Chiyoh/Bedelia Du Maurier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19
Collections: femslashficlets: queer women's literature quotes challenge





	want me to love you in moderation

**Author's Note:**

> **femslashficlets literature table:** The realization of great mutual love can at times be so overwhelming a thing, that even the bravest of hearts may grow fearful. Radclyffe Hall, The Well of Loneliness
> 
> enjoy!

Chiyoh doesn't do things in moderation. She had kept Mischa's killer captive for decades and then had killed him— she refused to do anything in a way that was not best described as all-or-nothing. It was how Lady Murasaki had taught her to be; give things your all whenever you can, or don't do them at all.

So when she starts visiting Bedelia Du Maurier, she knows what is going to happen. She's been aware she loves women since she was a little girl, telling Hannibal one night when she was ten. He had smiled at her and said that he liked boys. It was no surprise to her when Will Graham came to Lecter Castle and talked about knowing Hannibal _intimately_ — she wanted to tell him it was fine, that she understood, that she wasn't going to judge him for loving him.

Bedelia is a strange woman; even more so after her leg is amputated and eaten by both of her ex-patients. She still works and talks, wears a prosthetic that isn't noticeable until it is in just the right light. She's beautiful, Chiyoh can't help but notice that — she is very beautiful.

"I think we should keep to ourselves," Bedelia tells her, a glass of wine in her hand. It's not hard to notice what she is doing to herself, drinking the misery of all that has happened away.

"We shouldn't," she says, insistent and wanting. "We shouldn't keep to ourselves. I want you."

She pulls a face. "Want is a thing best kept in moderation."

Chiyoh shakes her head and stands up, walking toward Bedelia. "It is not," she says. "Just because Hannibal Lecter didn't want Will Graham in moderation doesn't mean our desire will end the same way. We don't have that taste in us, Bedelia."

"You and I both know we _do_ ," she spits out.

"Well, we both know to keep it to ourselves, do we not? Apart from… one or two specific encounters, of course."

Bedelia's patient, choking on his tongue. Mischa's killer, laying dead on the cave.

"I can't do it," she says. "I can't… just… _get in a relationship_. I served Hannibal's purpose. He will find us."

"He is too busy trying to kill Alana Bloom and her wife for that. And I know how to shoot if he does come our way."

Bedelia pauses and swallows. "I just… worry. We all are working through some issues, I think."

"Let me help," Chiyoh says, putting her hand against Bedelia's cheek, caressing gently. "Let me help, Bedelia Du Maurier."

"Chiyoh," she says, voice thick with want.

As she pulls her into a kiss, she knows she never wanted to love her in moderation.


End file.
